New In Theaters Review: Shark Night 3D

Being an avid lover of sharks, I decided to check out the movie Shark Night 3D this past Labor Day weekend. The movie revolves around seven college friends who decide to go to a lake House for the weekend. It seems like it’s going to be two days of swimming and jet skiing, until one of them is attacked by a shark in the water. They quickly learn that it’s just not one shark, but a lake full of the world’s most dangerous sharks.

Now from a shark lover standpoint, this sounds like my type of movie. If only it came with a good script to go with it. This movie was hands down the worst movie I’ve seen so far this year. The storyline was so unbelievable that, I would have preferred that they not tell you how all these sharks got into this lake. Yeah, it could be possible for a hurricane to wash in a shark or two into a lake, if the tide is high enough coming from the ocean. To wash in more than 56 species into one secluded area is way farfetched, especially being that sharks types differ in certain areas. Now add on the premise of involving humans being behind this feeding frenzy of killer sharks, and you’ve really pushed the envelope. Oh and remember it’s all done in 3D, for your shock value pleasure.

The movie Piranha, which I also reviewed when it came out wells also unbelievable. At least that movie was gory and entertaining. The only thing that this movie had going for it, was that it was so stupid it was hilarious. So off the wall, there was even one character who took on a hammerhead shark with one arm, and a spear. I do admit there was one scene that was pretty cool that involved a great white jumping out of the lake to get its victim. Other than that the movie was pretty lame. I rated this movie ½ bites out of 4. The only thing these sharks took a bite out of was my wallet. To make it even worst, the sharks are still in the lake, so it’s possible for them to try and continue this nonsense. The movie runs 1 hour and 35mins. It’s rated PG-13 for violence and terror, disturbing images, sexual references, partial nudity, language and thematic material. It was written by Jesse Studenberg & Will Hayes. The movie was directed by David R. Ellis (V). Produced by Next Films, Silverwood Films, Incentive Filmed Entertainment. The film was distributed by Relativity Media.

Not all fish out of water stories are worth telling. – Ezo
Next week’s review: TBD

Born in Harlem, raised in the Bronx. Chilled in Brooklyn, drove through Queens, and took a boat to Staten Island. A true New Yorker.